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What do I deserve?

"...all our righteous acts are like filthy rags...." (Isa. 64:6)

Imagine yourself walking into the throne room of God. Picture yourself standing in the presence of the full glory and majesty of the Creator. What would you say? Would you say, "Father, I deserve more. I deserve better than I'm getting right now. I don't deserve to have bad things happen to me"? Can you imagine saying that to God?

The person who approaches God demanding better does not have a very well informed imagination. The person who thinks it's okay to tell God what he does and does not deserve lacks a biblical understanding of who God is, not to mention humility.

Last Sunday we talked about the fact that the good works we do are like filthy rags before God. Tim Keller, referring to Isaiah 64:6, says the following:

"Imagine the most unsightly, smelly, decrepit, homeless person, wandering the city streets in rags. He does not have much of a mind left. He has no resources at all. He has nothing to recommend him. That is what all of us are before God, says Isaiah." -Tim Keller, Ministries of Mercy, 58, emphasis in original


If that's true, if my righteous acts are worse than worthless before God, then any conversation I might have with God about what I deserve would lead me to humbly bow before him. I would not dare to tell him what I deserve. Instead, I would humbly plead for mercy. I would join the Apostle Paul saying, "Wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death!" And then, continuing to the next verse, I would proclaim, "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Rom. 7:25)

This week, in order to feel the full impact of God's amazing grace and to move closer to God himself, I'm meditating on my wretchedness. Some will argue that this is a ridiculous, paternalistic, and damaging way to view God. "God is love," they will reproach, "He is not hateful and mean! He's merciful." And I agree. God is merciful and full of undeserved grace. But remember what Paul warns the Romans to do: "Consider [both] the kindness and sternness of God" (Rom. 11:22). God is my loving Father, but he is also my righteous Judge. I dare not narrow my view of him to only those characteristics with which I am comfortable.

So, I'm thinking this week about my wretchedness. What do I deserve? I deserve the wrath and punishment of God. What have I received? I've been given grace upon grace. And I believe that once I digest this truth, once I internalize it, once I wrap my heart around it, then, even when things go badly for me, I will want to sing to Him my thanks and praise.

What about you? What do you deserve?
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Tiffany said…
Nada. I deserve not a thing that I have been graciously given. Thanks for the reminder, Chris. Blessings,
October 9, 2007 at 7:21 PM
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